April Fools for Job Seekers
Happy April Fool’s Day! In honor of the occasion, we got to thinking about some silly job search tactics. Here are some pointers (NOT!) for job seekers on this April Fool’s Day.
Networking Short Cut
Everyone is busy. So when it comes to networking, cut to the chase. Save everyone time and effort by opening with, “Do you have a job for me?” If the answer is “no,” move on. If you’re efficient, you can work an entire room in under 10 minutes. You don’t have to bother to “get to know” anyone who can’t offer immediate help. Use the leftover time to look for dates and romantic possibilities.
Have a Differentiator
As a job seeker, you want to stand out and be memorable, even if you have to lie. So consider having an amazing differentiator to share during networking. Some suggestions: “I was a member of ‘N Sync,” “I took a bullet for the President during my stint in the Secret Service,” or “I see dead people.” Be sure to repeat this information often for it will surely impress everyone you meet.
Social Media Super-Soaker
Social media is a great way to reach lots of people with urgent messages. Job seekers should build up a large Twitter following then tweet every 30 minutes, “Desperate for job, please help.” Let your message do double duty by posting it on LinkedIn and Facebook. You are sure to get noticed! Build your online reputation by posting on as many message boards as possible, telling what you want to do for your next job and demanding help from others.
Ancient History and Your Resume
It’s important for your resume to be rich with detail! All too often job seekers leave off critical experience such as summer camps attended, number of beer pong tournaments won and unusual body quirks. If your resume is less than five pages, add more detail. Remember, there is no such thing as TMI!
Strategy? Why Bother?
The whole idea of having a job search strategy is overrated. For best success, send out as many resumes as you can to as many companies as you can. Then sit back and WAIT. Eventually your patience will be rewarded with a call for an interview.
Interview Aloof
It’s a big mistake to appear over interested in interviews. Build anticipation by arriving about 10 minutes late. Occasionally answer a question with “That’s for me to know and you to find out.” When asked if you have questions, ask “What do I have to do to get YOUR job?” and “Is Saint Pactrick’s Day a paid holiday?”
While these job search tactics may be amusing, what is true is that a sense of humor makes job seeking much more fun. Enjoy the laughs but do not try any of these techniques in real life.
Tell us, what’s the worst job search technique you’ve heard about or seen someone do?